


Compunction

by SecretCodeLyokan



Series: Despondent [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, I'm trying, It's just a friend trying to help their bestie, SEQUEL TO DESPONDENT SO SPOILER ALERT, So yeah, anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-07-29 14:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7687438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretCodeLyokan/pseuds/SecretCodeLyokan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sort-of sequel to Despondent</p><p>Something's wrong, and he knows it; something terrible happened, he can feel it, so terrible everyone refuses to tell him. He wishes to know what, just so he can understand her, help her, comfort her...but the scar this warrior bears is far too deep to be cured.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write something in Pap's POV being a good friend. This contains spoilers to Despondent, so if you haven't read it already, read at your own risk.

Papyrus had never seen anyone act like her. And he means, never.  
  
He had seen his brother cry, he had seen people mourn, but...this was something completely new to him. And, even if he had already seen it, it would've never crossed his mind that it could happen to her.  
  
Since her friend supposedly left, (as did the King and Mettaton apparently) it seemed as if the brave and tough Captain Of The Royal Guard he had once known had never existed; instead, that it had all been a figment of his immagination, something to distract himself from the present her, this one he had sleeping on his couch, wroking at the hot-dog stand, anywhere she went.  
  
_Why did the Human make them leave?_ He wondered, sometimes. _Did they do something wrong?_  
He had tried asking around for answers, but everyone would just shake their heads or shrug and say that they had no clue; not even Sans would give him the details.  
He had to admit, he sometimes wondered if it was all a conspirancy, that they were all hiding the truth from him; this made him feel both important and also worried: what kind of secret was so terrible that no one could tell him? And why did it changed his mentor, his best friend, so much?  
  
He had tried cheering her up in every possible way: puzzles, cooking lessons, even training; but she always seemed to reject his invitation and ideas with a sad smile. She didn't even want to get revenge on the Human. This made him really sad in return, because he, the Great Papyrus, couldn't cure her, his friend, and he didn't even know how he could.  
  
_Maybe if I bring her friend and the King back._ He though one day. _She could be happy again._  
  
  
The problem was, he didn't know where they were, or where to start looking: the Human certainly sent them far away from the Underground. So he tried to call them again, persuade them, but they never answered back.  
  
One day, he decided to venture himself, all alone, to find them. It didn't matter where he'd go, but he'll bring them back. Anything to see the real her again.  
  
So he packed his bags one late night, filling them with clothes, action figures, bone attacks, and spaghetti. Then, he quickly left a note on his car-bed, before opening the bedroom door and setting off.  
  
But when it came to climb down the stairs, he ran into a problem: he had four bags, all of which he could hardly carry without stumbling. How could he take them down?  
  
_Maybe,_ he said to himself. _If I carry one in my head and hoist one on my back, I might be able to do it._  
So he took what he considered the lightest of the bags and balanced it on his head; then, he took the second lightest (which was a backpack, but he didn't know that) and placed it on his arched back. With a quiet and satisfied "Nyeh", he picked the other two and made his way down.  
  
But, despite his plan seemed to work at first, the bag on top of his head started to become a very uncomfortable weight, and several time it actually nearly toppled.  
  
_You can do it Papyrus._ The brave skeleton told himself. _Do it for Undyne!_  
He then raised his whole upper body a little more to strike a heroic pose, but he had barely finished said pose when the weight on his head and shoulders immediately vanished; before Papyrus could understand what was happening, he heard a loud crash, while different bones scattered all over the place.  
  
"NYEH!" Papyrus screeched, as he stumbled towards a few fallen glowing blue attacks, but accidentally forgot he was on some stairs, and tripped. Another crashed followed, this time much louder as the poor skeleton started to whine in pain.  
  
There was a bang as the door upstairs was flung open, and Sans's sleepy but mad voice barked: "What the heck is going on?"  
  
"Nyeeeeeeeeeh..." Papyrus continued to whine, as he massaged his sore bones.  
"What the..." Sans's tone visibly changed, his eye sockets widening when he saw the figure on the ground. "PAPYRUS!"  
  
From the sofa, buried under a pile of blankets, came a loud moan; the two skelebros ignored it, as one teleported to the injured one, mumbling different "Oh my God"s and "Are you ok? Have you broken something? Stay calm"s  
  
"What's all this ruckus?" A figure shifted in the blankets, then moved said sleeping material aside, as they rose their head and rubbed their eyes. "Do you know what..."  
  
Undyne literally froze at the scene she was in front of: a wounded Papyrus with a panicking Sans, bones and fiferent other items scattered all over the floor along with four half-empty bags.  
  
Her concern, however, was the younger skeleton. Tears started spilling from her eyes as she litterally pounced near him, her voice filled with worry.  
  
"Are you ok? Please tell me you are ok, Pap! How much damage did you take? Sans get some water!" Her mouth was rapidly moving, maybe trying to hide the fact that she was about to break down, or maybe she was just worried. Nether less, she was right: her friend needed some medications, and some Cinnamon Bunnies to fight the pain.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Compunction Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's weird how this ended up; at first, I already had the whole thing sorted out, then I realized I had missed an important part I wanted to add, and things just spiraled from there. I think it could have room for improvement, and maybe I might've made some errors I forgot to correct, (I apologize for that, I'm really tired now), but anyways...enjoy! :D  
> Also, it's kinda weird but...while I was writing it, I had some crazy idea of turning into an Underswap version of the story, where the same things in here and Despondent happened in Underswap! But I guess it's too late now...pity, that would've been great to do...and confusing...  
> ANYWAY...here's Part 2. Have fun!  
> Ps: about the end...well, I spent hours guessing the right keys; I'm not sure I got them 100% correct and the whole OST's not included, but if you try playing them, then...well, you can figure out on your own what OST it is :D  
> Hint: It's a sort-of underrated one which, as far as I know, no one made fan-lyrics to...that is, until now ;-) (And you can see its meaning from two POVs)

It took a few days of persuasion, insisting and behaving before he could finally convince Sans he was alright and his HP was fully recovered. Or, to be more precise, try and convince Sans to stop thinking he had a serious disease and be realistic. In fact, his brother had been acting very ridiculous: he had overreacted over a small bone bruise worth about 5 HP, the kind which hurt a lot but in the end were just small and insignificant, and had forced him, the Great Papyrus into bed for five days! Five days of nothing but being in bed for just one bruise, how ridiculous! But, no matter what crazy things his brother did, Papyrus knew, deep down, Sans was caring for him, doing it for his good, and he respected that; that's why he had decided to wait a little bit more before asking permission to go out. 

As soon as he was out of the house, he never thought he missed the (underground) outside world so much as he actually did know; he felt happy, free, his worries melted away; it felt nice to feel the snow under his boots again, and the cold wind brushing his skull...this cold pleasant feeling was not even half of the reason Papyrus really loved Snowdin. Feeling really contented, the young skeleton, breathed in the fresh snowy air (even though he had no lungs), and felt his spirit rise even more; finally, he was outside again, where his poor puzzles awaited their re-calibration and upgrades.

"AND THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS BACK IN BUSINESS!" He announced to no one in particular, happily, and began his journey towards a few of his creations close by.

However, as he was walking towards his objective he realized there was something haunting his mind, a really small doubt that made him extremely concerned: usually, he'd be really excited to start his job and hobby in an occasion where he had to stay away from outside for a long time like right then, and he'd continue doing it with the same excitement for the rest of the day; it was part of his life, and, after five days of nothing, the perfect therapy and outdoor activity.

But this time, he realized that he didn't feel that excited.

Surprised and shocked, Papyrus stopped walking to contemplate this new problem; he, of all people, wasn't excited to start his favorite activity besides making spaghetti? This was making him extremely confused, and also a little sad; was he losing interest in his hobby? What was he going to do if that was really happening? His puzzles would be so disappointed, and he was the only one who loved them in this town. Or at least, as much as him: _no one_ , not even a cheap clone of him, could match his passion for puzzles, which was one of the many things which made him unique, cool, and, of course great.

But maybe...maybe it was something else...?

Yes, it was definitely something else: you don't lose your puzzle love just like that, that is ridiculous! Plus, now that he was here thinking about it thoroughly...it wasn't the first time he had felt like this. It had only happened twice or three times so far, but it was the same exact feeling, he was sure about it: in these occasions, he would start to realize that this life he was doing, no matter what he did...it didn't feel the same. It felt like a little sneaky voice, creeping in his ear and whispering these terrible things in his ear; it was a terrible and creepy feeling.

The past two or three times, he had freaked out a little and stopped working, or had tried to distract himself; then, a few minutes later, he'd just shrug it off as a side effect to hunger, and he'd eat some spaghetti. But,the more he pondered about it, the more he was slowly realizing that it was honestly no surprise at all that he was feeling this way.

Small changes had occurred in these past months, which had modified and prevented many things he used to do in his daily routine that might've been insignificant back then, but now seemed to mean the whole world to him. Of course, with a schedule like his, where everything was perfectly aligned, then normal jumps and differences were bound to create confusion and things like that. Why hadn't he thought of it sooner? Why didn't he predict something like this could've happened?

He decided to analyze all of the "anomalies", to make sure this feeling would never return.

The Royal Guard disbanding was one of the changes.

He had been working really hard to join it; it had been his dream since he could remember. He had always wanted to be a hero, earn respect, help the innocent and punish the bad people (not too much though, after all, even bad people have feelings), doing it for the good of everyone...Undyne and the rest of the RG was all of this, so of course that was his first thought.

He could still remember with a smile when he went to knock at her house, demanding to get in. He had waited all night, but it had been worth it: Undyne has given him a chance. And he gave all of his might to prove her he was strong and worthy; heck, once he even accidentally wounded her during their training.

And then, they started even cooking; their friendship had grown stronger ever since, and it was one of these memories he cherished and relived every time he was in the kitchen at his (and Sans's) house.

When the Queen however disbanded the Royal Guard, for a split second, he could feel his SOUL crack to pieces: it was like a knife had struck him, as if an invisible force had torn him to pieces...he couldn't really describe it with certainty, but it had been a terrible day.

It was that same day that Undyne had left ot hand over her armor, but had returned only three days later, famished, cold, with 30 HP less, and covered in soot: she had begged the Queen to give her a job, anything, but she told her she wasn't hiring anyone. So the ex-Captain had gone to Alphys's, to ask her about something and maybe, just maybe, offer to be an assistant. But her friend wouldn't answer the phone, and when she had checked the Lab, the doors were open and she was gone. She had waited for hours, but the lizard monster hadn't returned.

Not soon after, Undyne has sped off to Waterfall and had been running around the area repeatedly for two days, trying to put out the fire her house was engulfed in; she had at one the point actually gone inside the house, and saying she risked her life isn't enough t odescribe the situation she was faced with in there. She would've died, had it not been for Shyren, who had noticed her suspicious movements, and then went to call for help.

This accident had shocked Papyrus to no avail, to the point Undyne had to spend the next week in house arrest, close to him and sleeping near his bedroom to be there in case he had nightmares.

Staying at his house, the King disappearing, the Queen taking over...yes, these were other changes which had shocked him. He had no idea there was a Queen, much less that she had been living behind the closed door deep in the forest. Not to mention that sans knew her and _they made even worse puns than usual_.

During her speech, where she instated the new policy and everything, Undyne had looked really sore about it; he couldn't tell if it was because of her losing her job, or the fact that her mentor, the King, was gone. He later guessed that it must've been the policy, judging by how bitter she was about it. And who could blame her? The SOULs were gone, as was the Human, so who knows when theywere going to get out of there; not to mention one of the people she could consider family was missing, and Alphys had also been reported MIA soon afterwards, he had already said that.

Was there anything else?

Oh, right; there was him. 

Mettaton.

The "sexy rectangle", as many called him, had never aired another episode since the Human came. And since he was the only TV star in the Underground, now said item was just a useless cube with a rainbow-colored screen who did very little to cheer up the viewers, "Please Stand By" written in white letters in said spot.

Papyrus remembered the day he saw that last episode: he, Undyne and Sans were all sitting on the sofa, the other two watching for once; or at least, they had only agreed to watch when the younger skeleton told them the Human was starring in the usual shows.

Then, at one point, right when what was now known as "The Final Battle" was starting, he had left to prepare some spaghetti in the kitchen for a snack; the young skeleton remembered he had barely got the pasta in the boiling water when Sans had exclaimed "Oh my God!" And Undyne had let out a screech, followed by a series of words he didn't think were really polite to say out loud. Curiosity had struck him, and after a furious race to turn everything off and store all ingredients back in place (like a good and cool skeleton should always do), he had returned in the living room to see what was wrong; his friend and trainer was nowhere to be seen, and Sans had his eyes fixed on the TV, shocked.  
"WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS GONE?" Papyrus asked, a little excited. "DID METTATON KILL THE HUMAN?"

Ok, now he felt a little less happy just thinking about it. Still...he wanted to know.

His brother didn't answer. He just stood there for a few seconds, mumbling something under his breath Pap couldn't hear; so the younger skeleton decided to turn around and face the TV, but he had barely finished said action when Sans had already hurriedly grabbed the remote and switched the device off.

"SANS" He frowned. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LET ME SEE THE SHOW!"

"Pap, no" His brother had shaken his head.

"I WANT TO SEE WHAT'S WRONG" The younger skeleton crossed his arms.

"There's nothing wrong" the other one insisted. "Don't worry"

"THEN WHY DID YOU TURN OFF THE TV?" Papyrus plopped on the sofa. "METTATON WAS SUPPOSED TO DO A COOKING SHOW NEXT, I WANT TO SEE IT!"

"Bro, you can't..." Sans sighed heavily, and dropped the remote beside him.

To say his brother was confused at his words would be like saying "slightly scorched" to describe a plate of spaghetti turned into charcoal; it's not like he didn't know what they meant. He actually did.

It's just that...well, he couldn't understand their meaning in this conversation. He could've known the appropriate definition and answer in any other phrase, sentence, or the word alone, but...this particular one, in this particular subject, was literal news to him.

"Can't". What did he mean by that? Papyrus had nothing to do that could prohibit him from watching. Was there something wrong with the show? With Mettaton?

"He...left, Papyrus" Sans explained, sensing his confusion.

This only confused him even more.

"'LEFT'?" The younger skeleton in fact repeated, puzzled. "WHEN? WHY? WHAT HAPPENED?"

"He said that...he wanted to leave for a while, go on a trip or something" His brother shrugged. "I...I'm sorry, bro..."

Papyrus felt himself slowly sank in a pit if sad realization as soon as he had grasped these words: his favorite star had left...and he didn't know when he was coming back. he somehow felt terrible, even if he knew he shouldn't, it wasn't his fault...right?

It had taken both Sans and Undyne twelve hours to try and cheer him up, but now he was fine...well, he still missed him, but...it was going to be alright, he knew it.

He just couldn't understand why Undyne couldn't cheer up about it like him. Alphys would return soon, she shouldn't be unhappy about it.

Sans said that it was far more complicated than the younger skeleton thought: after all, the shy monster and the ex-Captain had been, and still were, really close and cared dearly about each other, not to mention it had been for a long time; it was really much unlike Pap's situation with Mettaton.

"You're his biggest fan" he had said. "But Mettaton doesn't really know you that much; Undyne and Alphys, however" he smirked a little cheekily. "Like I told you, they're really close, bro; so, when the Human made her leave..." He paused and looked towards the living room, where the ex-Captain was, his face falling. "You know...she was crushed"

Papyrus had nodded at that; but he still hated seeing his friend, who hadn't spoken to either one of them for three days since the day she had barged in with the news. (well, to be exact, she hadn't really said anything, she only barged in; Sans had done the talking. But that wasn't important right now)

So he had decided to finally go to her and try to cheer up.

"DON'T WORRY" he had said, more or less. "THINGS WILL GET BETTER..."

At this, his best friend, who had been lying down on the couch, chin on the armrest and staring in the opposite direction, had snapped back to look at him.

"'Get better'?" She had hissed. "How the Hell do you think it'll get better!"  
"WELL..."

"Shut up!" Undyne interrupted him before he could say anything. "Leave me alone! You don't understand, so stop thinking you know what to do, and tell your brother he can quit his 'friend left' act! He's just a filthy lazy liar! She didn't deserve to even know him!" The fish lady then turned around, furiously rubbing her eye. "Just leave me alone!"

"BUT..." Papyrus was shocked: he knew Undyne could be very mad and explode sometimes, but she had never yelled at him like this before. Anyone in his place would've been offended; but he knew better. He knew it wasn't her speaking. _She's just hurt..._

"I told you to leave me alone!" She snapped, a sob escaping her at the last minute. "You're not helping, Papyrus, so just leave me..."

Papyrus, however, didn't move. He was determined to make her feel better, even if it meant to bother her. She would thank him later.

However, Undyne didn't seem very cooperative. Her muscles got rigid, and her wounded eye felt funny for a few seconds, as she grasped the cloth of the sofa.

"I...said...LEAVE!" She yelled, as a hiss rang out in the room, followed by a loud crash.

Time seemed to stop when the sound reached her ears, and the feeling she had before vanished immediately; a sense of dread and realization came in its place, as she quickly span around to see what had happened, worried.

"Papyrus!" Sans exclaimed, rushing out of the kitchen. However, he couldn't take more than one step: a barrier of bright blue magic spears blocked his way. Looking around, he realize they were all over the living room floor, their edge stuck really deep in the pavement, impossible to budge; probably even his magic was useless against the ex-captain's weapons.

But right now, his attention was on something else. Someone else...

"PAPYRUS!" The skeleton called. His mind was spinning faster and faster, trying to prepare for best and worse, but uncertain what 'worse' meant; now to think about it, he didn't even want to imagine the possibilities that word could mean: he couldn't see a single free spot from his position, and the mere thought of...

"I'M OK" Came just then the reply. "I'M ON THE STAIRS"

"Oh thank God..." Sans whispered to himself.

Not long after, Undyne had made the spears disappear and refused to speak to anyone for a whole week.

\-----

A chill breeze rattled Payrus's bones, and he realized he had been standing there for a quite a while.

_Oh no, I'm not doing my job; I'm slacking off!_

He looked around in alarm, hoping no one had seen him this way, procrastinating like his brother: it would be his worst nightmare!

Luckily, no one seemed to be around, probably also because he was pretty far away from the city, but not near the usual hangouts monsters in the forest usually went to; with a sigh of relief, he walked towards the nearest puzzle, one of these switch ones, and started re-calibrating it.

Usually at this hour, his friend Flowey, a very smart and kind yellow flower, would come to check on him, asking a few questions and telling him some new stories. He was his first friend, and truly trusted him, even though Sans (and then later Undyne) didn't like him.

However, it had been some time since he had last seen the little flower popping out of the ground; he hadn't been around this zone at all, or anywhere around the Undeground, actually.  
_Weird._ Papyrus thought to himself. _Maybe he left too; I hope nothing happened to him..._

He shook his head with a sigh and started humming a little tune while working, smiling a little as he went.

\------

"You were leaving that night, weren't you?"

Papyrus, who had been tidying up his attacks in a small pile near the wardrobe for later maintenance for the past hour, jumped at these words, as he quickly span around too see Undyne on the open front door of his bedroom, leaning on the frame like some goth high school girl she had shown him in...mangas, was it?

After a few hours of working, he had gone back to his house, broke into an argument with Sans about the washing and the sock on the ground, and went upstairs to tidy up the rest of the bedroom, which he hadn't done before because of being under "bed arrest", as the ex-Captain had once bitterly commented. He had been doing a great job, up until she showed up.

The younger skeleton felt guilt rise inside him, as he stayed silent and made a "I don't know what you're talking about" face; she huffed in reply and repeated her statement, adding more details:  
"Five nights ago; when you got that bruise and Sans condemned you to bed arrest. You were planning to leave, weren't you?" Her one-eyes stare cut through him like a knife, making lying much more difficult than he had originally planned.

"WHAT?" He asked again, trying really hard to act as if it was total news to him and ignore her judging stare.

At these words, his friend rolled her eyes and distanced herself form the door frame, stood up straight and sighed heavily, as she entered the room: "Don't lie to me, Papyrus"

The skeleton stood silent, not answering. She only got closer, her frown turning into a glare.

"I know you know what I'm talking about" she hissed. "I know you wanted to leave!"

"I DIDN'T!" He insisted, nervously scratching the back of his neck. "I JUST...I WAS TIDYING UP MY ROOM..."

"At 3 AM in the morning?" She snapped.

"I WASN'T TIRED"

"What about these five bags you had?"

"I WAS ALSO ALSO GETTING SOME STUFF DOWN FOR SOME PUZZLES"

"Since when do you use bone attacks for puzzles?"

"I...I WANTED TO TRY A NEW TECHNIQUE!"

He had never been happy to lie to his friends,which might explain why he wasn't a good liar. Luck wasn't on his side either, because he could see she wasn't buying this string of false phrases he was coming up with per second: he knew it by the way she was looking at him, her cutting stare seemed to have doubled in power now, and was stating to dig in his heart like a powerful shovel.

He tried really hard to look away, but her gaze was unfortunately also magnetic, and he couldn't stop staring at her...

Wait a second...Undyne...what was...were those...

"UH...U-UNDYNE?" He stared at his friend, who didn't seem that threatening all of a sudden. "ARE YOU..."

He was caught off mid-sentence when Undyne suddenly half-tackled him in a enormous bear hug, sending him a few steps back. It wasn't like the usual ones she used to give him, who were usually friendly, companion and accomplishment hugs, the one cool dudes and pals always give to each other every once in a while instead of the more frequent high-fives and the occasional noogies (which he personally half-hated, mostly because she was always the one to give them to him and not the other way round); this one was a total new type of hug he had only received a two or three times in his lifetime up until that moment: it was a strong, clingy and desperate one, one which made him truly realize how fragile his friend had now become. It was the kind a small child would give to their father before they left for a war or a business trip.

It made him feel like a rock, a protective guard, and a little bit of a hero, as if suddenly the roles were switched between them, and now he was the strongest and she the rookie.

"Pl-pl-please..."

Papyrus, who had zoned out for a couple of minutes out of surprise, absorbed in the surprise hug, immediately snapped back to reality at these words. Only then he realized that the person whose head was currently on his shoulder was sobbing; and really hard.

"Don't l-l-leave..." She stuttered, a little bit like her friend used to. "Please d-d-don't; you're a-a-all I have l-l-left..."

_All I have left_

Another confusing phrase which seemed out of place in a context like this, and didn't make any sense to him: were Asgore and Alphys going to be gone for so long? Did that mean Mettaton was going to be absent for long too? And did she really trust him that much? Wowie, he felt so important now!

He never thought the day might come in which she might need him; he had always considered himself as her younger brother, "the one who was still blind" , as she remarked sometimes with a poetic gesture. HE didn't know when the sudden change had happened, and he really wanted to know: he might feel important, but...but he wanted his friend's old self back. He wanted her to be the rock, she was _supposed_ to be the rock, the boss, the captain, the hero, everything...God, he couldn't even cook all of the pasta in the world like her, and now he felt like...ok, he just didn't know what to do.

"OK THEN" he mumbled, trying his best to cheering her up with a few pets on the back. "UH...PLEASE STOP CRYING NOW..."

"W-what?" She asked between sobbed.

"Y-YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY TOO!" Papyrus wailed, as a few tears spilled from his eye sockets.

"H-ha...ha..." Undyne chuckled through her tears. "But seriously" she frowned slightly. "Don't leave! Please!"

"I'M STAYING, DON'T WORRY" he promised. "I JUST...I JUST WANTED TO FIND THE OTHERS...BRING THEM BACK..."

"What!" She untangled herself out of the hug to look at the skeleton. "Why would you do that?"

"BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY!" He exclaimed spreading his arms wide. "BEING MISERABLE ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU; I JUST WANTED YOU TO SMILE AGAIN, BE ACTIVE, FULL OF LIFE..."

Undyne's eyes widened, then she quickly lowered her gaze, a sad smile printed on her face.

"Heh..." The smile slowly faded. "Bring them back, you say? Wish I could too..." She sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"UNDYNE, ARE YOU..." Papyrus reached out a gloved hand towards her face to touch the liquid streaming from her eye.

"I'm ok..." She pushed him away. "I swear...I...I'm..."

Suddenly, the fish lady covered her face with her hands. "Fuck, I miss her so much..."

"UNDYNE!" Papyrus protested, but before he could start lecturing her for the first time about the "No Swearing In The House" rule, he realized she was starting to cry again; however, much louder this time.

"UNDYNE, WHAT'S WRONG?" He asked. As if he didn't know already...well, he sort of didn't, but that wasn't important.

The ex-Captain sank to her knees, her shoulders bobbing up and down as she silently tried to let go of the pain.

"I never got to tell her..." She mumbled. "I couldn't protect her...and now..." She literally roared, nearly clawing her face in despair.

Papyrus looked at her, then started patting her head, every once in a while trying to ask her what was wrong, but she refused to talk.

"UNDYNE PLEASE" tired of running in circles once again, he sank to his knees too, trying to uncover her face. "LET ME HELP YOU"

"Get away from me!" She cried, both literally and not, retracting from his hands.

"TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!" He pleaded. "I WANT TO KNOW; TELL ME!"

She stopped for a while to look at him; her gills were red and puffy, as was her eye, staring at him with a hurt look.

"I WANT TO HELP YOU" he insisted. "WHAT'S WRONG?"

She looked away, rubbing her eye. She seemed to slightly open her mouth for a second, then hesitated, her caws digging the pavement as she shook her head.

"It's ok" she told him, looking back at him and forcing a smile. "Give it time..."

Those words hurt her when they came out of her mouth, all nearly toppling out like a tower of falling dominoes; she never wanted to use them, she had heard them so many times from other people, it made her sick just thinking about it. How people thought this was easily fixable.

 _What do they know? They just criticize her for what she's done.._ she thought bitterly, a few tears slipping down her cheek. _She didn't do it on purpose, you sick heads! Stop saying things like that..._

She wanted to scream, but held herself, and instead scratched the floor. Papyrus, however, didn't pay attention to this sudden movement.

"UNYDNE I KNOW YOU'RE LYING" he frowned, half-smiling to himself because it reminded him of the same scene but with opposite roles that had happened a few minutes ago. "TELL ME THE TRUTH"

She looked in his sockets for a few seconds, many thought swirling in her head; she then once again turned away, more tears sprouting from her eye.

"I couldn't protect her..." She mumbled once again aloud, for what looked like the ten thousandth time. "I would give anything...anything to..."

Undyne stared at no point in particular, as too familiar memories flashed in her mind: their first meeting, her shy attitude, her smile, the Abyss, the picture she had built of her love tumbling in the deep dark hole of despair, her cold limp body floating on the water, the burial...she squeezed her eyes shut and shook these thoughts all away, as her hands tightened into fists and the desire to punch something in frustration pulped inside her.

"Papyrus..." She asked with a trembling voice. "Have you ever been...broken?"

"'BROKEN'?" Papyrus's head shot up, and then tilted to the side.

Broken.

In which sense? Literal, or something else? Was it possibly another one of these words he couldn't understand the meaning in the context in disguise?

"As in, when something happens, and it just crushes on top of you like a spear" she added. "And you just feel breaking inside, dying maybe, but you don't know what to do to make it stop"

Broken. Did she mean Hopeless? Because he did feel a little hopeless.  
He felt hopeless because he couldn't help her. Hopeless because he couldn't understand her, and that meant he wasn't doing his best. Hopeless because he didn't know what 'best' was. Hopeless because the special secret wasn't shared with him. Hopeless because he couldn't understand how she felt, while everyone seemed to know.

But he also felt guilty, and regret. Guilty because he felt as if it was also his fault she was like this, and he should've been a better and understanding friend, maybe not forcing her to befriend the Human, or start working immediately at Sans's stand. Guilty because he should've at least tried once to go to Hotland and meet Mettaton, maybe even see him for half a second in real life, but just enough for him to cherish it so that he wouldn't need to wait. Guilty, because he should've done many other amazing things with her and him, and he should've just gone for it instead of waiting.

And then there was regret. Because now it was too late.

He didn't realize how long had he stayed in silence, contemplating what to say back to her, whether more information, or what had just crossed his mind. Undyne, however, knew, and seeing how silent he was made her sigh in both frustration and sadness.

"Of course you haven't" she mumbled, lowering her head with a sad smile.

Snapping back to reality, Papyrus turned towards his best friend, who was still looking away, eyes closed.

"You don't know what regret...the regret I'm feeling right now...is..." She shook her head. "When...you just want to wake up...and wish it was all a bad dream..."

Undyne was so intent staring at no point in particular of the ground, lost in her memories, it wasn't difficult to guess she was totally caught by surprise when Papyrus hugged her. His hug was similar to hers, but it was more warm, helpful, and...and it was pretty...'rainy'?

"LET ME HELP YOU" he begged, tears spilling from his sockets. "PLEASE, JUST LET ME"

The ex-Captain didn't answer. She shivered slightly, a single tear slipping from her eye.

 _They're all dead_ her mind whispered, but not her mouth. _Asgore, Mettaton...Alphys...all slain by the Human, if not physically then mentally; and there's no getting them back_

Maybe someday, she might be able to say it out loud without crying, with bravery, with power, knowing Papyrus might understand why it was hidden from him in the first place, or something like that.

But for now, it was all going to be sealed in her inner cage of compunction.

\-----

He had done his best to make her feel better; he hadn't bothered her when she wanted to be alone, he spoke to her, he complained about Sans loudly enough...it wasn't much, but he felt ever so slightly prouder of himself.

Especially since he had given her that piano.

It had really been something that had came out of the blue and a few months after her birthday, when Gerson had met him over at the new MTT Resort (he had recently decided to take breaks and spend some time over there in honor of his idol) and told him they had recovered Undyne's precious instrument and he had managed to fix it. Well, there were some of the lower keys which sounded terrible, but the rest was pretty good.

"She's been kinda down lately" he told the skeleton. "I'd appreciate if you gave it to her"

Papyrus thought it was a great idea: if there was something he knew very well about his best friend, was that she was basically married to that piano. She loved playing it, she said it helped her calm down sometimes; it had apparently belonged to her parents, who had learned to play it from their parents, who in turn had learned it on the surface.  
"I was born in a family of musicians" she used to chuckle sometimes. "Weird, huh?"

The music sheets were in her room last he remembered and, according to Gerson, that seemed to be the only room not in flames. But getting to it now was out of the question.

"When some of us can, we could go and grab her stuff from the room, including her sheets" he said. "But not now; it's hotter than here in there, and too dangerous, but the piano should cheer her up for now"

"I COULD FIND A WAY TO FIT IT IN THE LIVING ROOM OR THE SURROUNDING SNOW" Papyrus smiled. "THEN SHE CAN PLAY ALL SHE WANTS"

A few days of grunting, pushing, arguing, puns, making up lies and planning later, he had presented her with the gift, which was decided to have its special place in the shed. She was really surprised to see it intact and still working, and she was even happier when she heard that the things in her room might be salvageable.

"Thanks" she smiled warmly. "This is...that was very nice of you and Gerson"

"YOU'RE WELCOME" he smiled back. "HERE'S THE KEY; NOW YOU CAN PLAY ANYTIME YOU WANT, WE WON'T DISTURB YOU, PROMISE"

The ex-Captain just nodded, with a strange twinkle in her eye.

Her mood, however, did not change.

\-----

It must've been midnight when he heard a suspicious scuffling outside of his bedroom.

At first, he didn't pay attention to it much: it was probably Sans getting a midnight snack, or something. Then he heard the door quietly open and close, adn tihs made hims shot up in alarm.  
_Was it a thief?_

No, it couldn't be: there were no thieves in the Underground, much less in Snowdin. Then, who was it?

_I should check it out_

Brandishing one of his bone attacks, he quietly opened the door, and tiptoed down the stairs. The door was slightly ajar, and snow was starting to pour in.

_So they did went out_

He pushed the door open and walked out went out, closing it behind him like a good skeleton. He then looked down, and say footprints in the snow, just as he had expected.

"THEY SEEM TO LEAD TO THE SHED..." He pondered, his eye sockets widening in alarm: they weren't going to steal it, right? Undyne had been playing it for two weeks, according to her, he didn't want her to see this piece of her leave forever. She might be even more crushed

 _I'll ambush them._ he told himself. _I'll show them not to mess with the Great Papyrus_

Tightening the grip on his blue bone, he slowly made his way to the shed, noticing how the door was slightly ajar...

Wait a second...were these...piano keys?

_Someone's playing it? At this hour of the night?_

Making sure to be silent as possible, he slightly opened the door a bit more and peeked in: the piano was more or less near the Human Cage, but the keys were on the opposite side, so he couldn't see them. However, he could see the familiar fish woman pressing the keys with narrowed eyebrows.

_Undyne? What is she doing awake at this hour?_

He watched as she fumbled with some keys more, until she huffed in frustration.

"Damn it!" she said. "I don't know what to do..."

She crossed her arms and threw herself on the back of the chair, sulking; she stayed like this for a few seconds, then rose her head to look at a particular spot in front of her on her left.  
"What?" she asked. "What kind of scale?"

Papyrus's eye sockets widened when he heard her words; who was she speaking to? Was she speaking to someone at all?

"Well..." the ex-captain shrugged. "I could...maybe..."

She stood up straight in her seating poistion, looking a the keys; she seemd to hesitate for a second, before pressing more notes.

C# F# A F# 

"Hey, it's working!" She exclaimed. "Sounds pretty good!"

G# A G# F# E D

"Now I just need to add some base" She mumbled. HEr face suddenly shot up to the same spot as before. "Huh? These notes you say?"

She pressed some keys, mumbling the respective names as she went; then, she mixed them i together, and her smile grew.

"Now we just need some words..."

With a sigh, she positioned her hands, hesitated for a few seconds, and then started singing in a soft, sad voice; it mgiht've not been the best singing voice ever, but the ords hit Papyrus like spears:

_**Strong, fierce, and brave** _  
_**Fame and fortune, many fans** _ ****  
_**You had it all** _  
_**But not quite** _ ****

****_**Worries, mistakes** _ ****  
_**Tears and unopened letters** _ ****  
_**You had no one, no** _ ****  
_**But** _ **  
_**Then she came and** _ **

**************_**Laughs, tears of joy** _ **  
_**All worries melt all away** _ ****  
_**And she was complete** _ **  
_**Beside you** _ **

**************_**War, and humans** _ **  
_**Nothing mattered beside you** _  
_**It felt like a dream** _  
_**But…couldn’t last** _

_**“You Human there** _ ****  
_**In front of me, though not quite”** _  
_**You screamed “Run away** _  
_**Or you’re doomed”** _

_**You admired them** _  
_**Watching them from afar** _  
_**But with just one blow** _  
_**Dreams were torn** _

_**Darkness comes down** _  
_**Snippets of your life fly** _  
_**You want to stay strong** _  
_**For them all** _

_**But deep deep down**_  
_**You just want to let it go**_  
_**You just want to go**_  
_**Back to her**_

_**All is dark now**_  
_**What you thought was innocent** _  
_**Crushed all of your hopes** _  
_**And their dreams** _

_**Whispering words**_  
_**Of encouragement and help**_  
_**Won’t help you now**_  
_**They all say**_

_**Whispering words**_  
_**Of love and of regret**_  
_**You call out her name**_  
_**No one comes**_

_**Light as feathers** _  
_**Half of you wants to stop** _  
_**But now it’s too late** _  
_**You’re close to the ground** _

_**And in the end** _  
_**As the life slowly leaves you** _  
_**You will realize your own strength** _  
_**Was your own weakness all along** _

Undyne slowed down on the last verse, then finished the tune with a small sigh, wiping a few small tears from her eyes.

Papyrus was trying really hard not to wail like a baby and clap, and had to quickly hide behind the door to avoid any accident.

 _That was beautiful..._ he whispered in his head. _I didn't know she could play like that..._

"Heh, thanks..." Undyne mumbled.

The skeleton froze at these words; had he said it out loud? Was his cover blown?

He rubbed his eyes and the peeked at the door; no, she hadn't noticed him. She was...staring at the same spot as before, with a really bright and flustered smile.

"It's nothing, really...I...I just came up with like that" she smirked. "Yeah, I got inspired by last night's song..."

 _Who is she talking to?_ The younger skeleton asked himself again. _There's no one there...right?_

"Well, actually..." Undyne looked at the piano tiles, then rubbed her neck, sadly. "I...was inspired by...by you...I miss you, you know".

She then shyly looked away for a few seconds, before leaning towards the void and tilting her head to stare down, giggling.

"Love you too" she mumbled, then frowned. "But you know I miss you so much..." she paused for a second. "I know Alphys, I know..."

_Alphys?_

Had this been an anime show, you could've pictured Papyrus in one of these "insert glass shattering sound" scenes, where the background is black and crossed by a white line which is supposed to be the white bolt of realization. (I guess)

Then again, that wouldn't be enough to describe his train of thoughts and his emotions in that moment: In fact, the poor skeleton had not only understood what was the big deal with Undyne talking to the air, but he was also really confused and shocked right now. However, at the same time, as weird as it sounds, he honestly both could and couldn't understand what he had just learned, and if he had really heard what he had heard.

 _Is Alphys invisible?_ he wondered. _Or are they talking through mental holograms?_

He pondered for a few seconds, then decided he should just ask Sans. _He probably knows more about this; maybe we can find a way to localize her..._

He was about to head back home, deciding he had seen enough, when he saw Undyne giggling. Her smile had a tinge of sadness, but it also was...cheerful, happy. He barely could remember the last time he saw her so cheerful. It was weird how she seemed so free in there, yet so trapped during the rest of the day, as if nothing really mattered.

And she was also singing a song to herself, a theme song by the looks of it, and she was _still smiling_. It was incredible.

somewhere inside him...he felt as if he shouldn't tell Sans about this. Maybe it was best to leave her alone, in whatever this happy world was she was in, and he had a feeling that what he was going to say might affect her badly.

He nodded to himself, having decided it was what he was going to do.

 _Your secret's safe with me, Undyne._ he thought with a smile, as he slowly and quietly closed the door and headed back to bed, the smile of the ex-Captain still flashing in his mind.


End file.
